Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Opportunities abound, if can take them

Buying an RV is the second greatest opportunity I chose to take.  It is very exciting, a little (a lot) intimidating, but mostly it felt right to do.  I knew it was a "safe" bet as know other people who did it earlier in life, before settling down, and also others who do it later in life, after doing what they needed to do..

I found myself in a unique position, yearning to get out of self imposed ruts, but leaving all that's familiar to me.  My work allows me to work remotely, and I am in more ways than one.

My first drive to get out of the ruts I was in is to leave the house behind (rented I think), and head west, to an unknown location (really didn't know where).  Hopped in my little car, loaded up my homemade trailer, and off I went on a two week cross country trip.  This trip continues to be one of the best times in this life.  I wasn't worried about finding a place, nor did I know where I was going precisely.  I never felt was running away from things, but on a search to find things, a long time before I came up with The Meaning..

I had quite the fun in Tacoma, then Vashon, and Montana for a brief stint, but felt something was missing.  I was very happy, enjoyed the island, where I was renting, but had mixed feelings about the rental agent.  Dealing with her is one of the reasons I chose to get the RV, not the only reason, but did play a role.

I am now getting a similar feeling of something missing, and it's increasing every day.  Am not quite sure what it is (though have a feeling), nor how to fully correct it (not a clue), but it's telling me of an important piece of the puzzle that I need in my life.

The problem, benefit, and challenge, of an opportunity is

  1. Being aware that they're out there (problem)
  2. Recognizing it is an opportunity (problem)
  3. Benefiting from an opportunity (benefit)
  4. Recognizing beneficial opportunities (challenge)
  5. Avoiding opportunities with pitfalls (challenge)
  6. Knowing which opportunity to take (benefit, challenge)

This list is not comprehensive, nor is it meant to be, but I write it in the hopes of jarring myself onto becoming more aware of opportunities, both new and"old" ones that keep reappearing, or never go away.  Some stay around for a reason, either to make sure we DON"T take them, or because we need to take them..  Hence the problem, benefit, and challenge.

I can't begin to fathom how many missed opportunities I've left by the wayside, from wonderful potential relationships, to different forms of work, learning experiences, and just plan "life" things.  I'm not lamenting about any of these, just realizing that they were there, kicking myself for not taking the great ones, but then letting go of that feeling.  If I were to always lament, and mourn, these past opportunities, it would be much harder to see new ones opening up, or recognizing the ones which are still around.

In some cases it's not because I didn't want to take / pursue the opportunity, in which I really wanted to, but sometimes something deep down inside of you stops you cold.  Like dead cold, as in absolute zero Kelvin.  Looking back at some of these I can tell exactly what stopped me, and why I was so powerless to pursue.

One of these reasons, and not blaming it, just something I need to overcome, is the childhood drama others have told me about.  This has stopped me lots and lots of time, and could even be one reason why I turned to alcohol for 13 years.  I spent two one hour sessions with a Reiki Master when I was in New Mexico to start clearing this up.  She realized I had lots of work to do, and she was surprised how much stuff I had going on.  Oddly, or not so oddly, is that she loosened what was blocking me up in my root chakra.  After she released that block, I could feel the energy move down my inner thighs towards me knees.  There is still some energy stuff present and I am working on removing it daily.  Shake and let go (nothing like Shake n Bake).  Now it feels like a sharp burning pain at times, instead of a plug, which is a good sign.

I had a different dream couple nights ago, it almost felt like a two way dream , and one which I remembered.
 It was a friend and I, and rekindling a bond that we formed.  In this vivid, and realistic dream, there was a third person there whom we both know.  This third person was between us, yet had their head down and slouched over (but alive) as if in resignation over something (knowing what was about to happen?).  I was totally dumbfounded and unsure of the whole situation until my friend took a very bold initiative.  After intentions were made clearer than ever (like with a sledge hammer), I seized on the opportunity this time and the whole universe seemed to align itself in the most perfect manner.

I think that the moral of this dream is that not all opportunities are lost forever, even if we're oblivious to them.  If some of these opportunities take more than one person, such as relationships or job / work things, then in some cases they'll hit you over the head with a fry pan to make you realize it.  If still don't get it, well, that's your problem.

These are things that everyone faces to different degrees, and it's our task of recognizing them and taking appropriate action.

Speaking of appropriate action, time to declutter a little more inside.  As a bachelor, have a habit of letting things pile up and then get that cluttered feeling where nothing has a proper home though space is available for proper homes..  joy joy joy.

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