In other news, have been riding scooter around recently. All Hail the Scooter! Will be having a multi-series post regarding that.
On to the Meat..
Use relationships to teach you how to be whole within.
- Relationships aren’t about having another person complete you, but coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently.
See your partner for who he or she really is.
- When you realize that more often than not you don’t really know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.
Be willing to learn from each other.
- The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person.
Get comfortable being alone.
- By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole.
If one is uncertain, or overly needy, about their role in a relationship, or even a slight bit unhappy, this undermines the whole relationship. It's like building a Bugatti frame with aluminum foil (like Reynolds Wrap (nothing against them)). Everything looks great in terms of the relationship, but at the slightest breeze everything crumples.
Look closely at why a fight may begin.
- If you become aware of what you fear about intimacy, you’ll have a better sense of why you’re fighting—and likely will fight far less.
Own who you are.
- We generally grasp at romantic love because we’re yearning for something that is out of reach, something in another person that we don’t think we possess in ourselves. ... You can only get from another person what you’re willing to give yourself.
- After the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The trick is to see that ordinariness can become the real “juice” of intimacy. The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary.
Believe that this ties back into so many of the other items above. For me, and my feeble thought process, this is the meat, the crux, of a relationship. It's why, in most (if not all) of the long term relationships I've seen while RV'ing, couples still have that little spark in their eyes when they are near each other!
Expand your heart.
- To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you.
- It’s easier to recognize the good in your partner when you’re connected to the good in yourself.
Focus on giving love.
- The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply.
Let go of expectations.
- You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will immediately cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else.
Nothing to quote here, but wanted to separate it.
Being around retirees most of the time has definitely opened my eyes to what real relationships are, how they work, and what makes them tick. Not sure when, why, or how I'll use information have shared today, but who knows, life works in mysterious ways when we least expect it.
Time for a scooter ride!