Self sufficiency

 My whole life, well, ever since can remember, have been keen to be able to do everything myself, without having to rely on others.  This is because, when rely on others, something generally breaks down in the process.  This breakdown could be no fault of either party, just something happened, but yet impacts view of the people we relied on.  This has been my religious belief up until now.

This is one of the main steps I need to overcome, mentally, and is a key part of The Meaning, and also a key piece in my self improvement.  Not truly sure what kicked off my need to be a fully self contained unit, maybe something in childhood, maybe past life experiences, really unsure.  It has persisted my whole life, not being able to open up, always building a wall around myself, not letting anything, or anyone, in, and very rarely letting anything out.

Some of the recent turning points was when jotted down The Meaning, as well as loss of both my cats, my companions for 18 (or so) years, Pia (Pia 2) and Mia., and some recent legal items.  These life events were very substantial (at least to me), in that have never experienced them before.  I've always insulated myself from things, and people, so that would never experience the ups and downs like have on this trip so far.  I couldn't deny the emotions that crept over me, or more like flooded me.

There was a specific word thought of several days ago when came to this realization that we can't be self sufficient in everything we do, yet can't recall it now.  We need support, we need to ask people, we need a lot of things that one person cannot fully provide.  Examples would be diaper changing (infancy), work (for most people), any relationships, and pets.

If I wasn't so bent on being the only one I can depend on, there are a lot of things that would be different in my life right now.  But, this all boils down to some mental blocks that are still holding me back from being able to rely on others.  Scatter is helping me immensely with this as we speak.  He is doing things Pia and Mia would do, but I would always push them away, yet I accept him.  It's strange how this all works.

I don't think this holding back is due to trust issues, as I really do trust most people, probably more than I should.  It's now a matter of retrieving the mental blockage, acknowledging what happened, then releasing and letting it go.  It's simple as that, but the first key is memory, remembering and unlocking it...


Now it's time to find the key....

Image taken from this blog post.

Valentine's Day

A typical gift, from what I gather, on Valentine's day is chocolate, and what better place to get chocolate that melts in your hand, and not your mouth, than Florida.  Yes, know got that reversed, just a poke at the warm and humid environment here.

There is a chocolate store I was recommended to go to, by same person who suggested I go to Zingerman's, in Florida, specifically in Ft Myers.  Now, being the intrepid person I am, had to venture into the unknown lands of a chocolate connoisseur,  As a caveat, I went here week or so ago, not sure if they're open today.

A chocolate store?

Enter, stage left, Norman Love's Confections.  Truly the best, and prettiest, chocolate I have had the pleasure of tasting.  Sure, there are some rivals to this, like the wholesomeness found in Theo's Chocolates (they have factory tours), or the smoothness of some European brands, but this is special.

Have some good friends wintering in Florida and they're within spitting distance of the store.  I made a day trip to check out what all the fuss was about, and my oh my, was splendidly surprised.  Now, have a confession to make, person who told me about this place also gave me one of their chocolates, and I was blown away, even with it being dark chocolate.  Not by the wonderfully satisfying dark chocolate piece, but by their generosity in freely giving up one of their best treasures!

Delivery too?

My first impressions upon seeing the building was it's so TINY, really tiny.  At the moment there was a line 15 people deep waiting to get chocolate and it snaked through the store to the front door.  Was amazed at how small the store truly was.  When enter, on the right is store area and on left is a small seating area, like a cafe (they had a small solid chocolate alligator on the shelf).

Yumminess inside

After a short while wandering around and checking things out, hopped in line to get some true goodness.  I got the mix n match and truly have no idea what I mixed and matched.  One was banana something, another had a fruity type thing (cherry or strawberry?).  They're truly like works of art, each and every one is done to perfection.  Due to the line went rapidfire to get my box filled (16 or 24) with these works of art, naming things at random that looked (really, they all were) great and the names on the panel sounded tasty (to me).

After picking out chocolates there was also a selection of baked goods like croissants (told the almond one is to die for), cookies, brownies, etc.  I chose to go with a good ole standby, the chocolate chip cookie.  This cookie was nothing have ever tasted before.  It was great, and while not the best, will go down in the memory banks as being a very good one.  Nice and think and scrumptious with a flavor all it's own.

Dark chocolate sampler

As my camera was misbehaving (due to phone software), was unable to capture more pictures of the interior, and the display cabinet, but suffice to say there was all sorts of things on display, from chocolates to pastries, to little deserty things, and each one was a piece of artwork.  Truly felt guilty biting into my little chocolate pieces, until that taste flowed throughout my mouth.

And, to top it all off, there is more goodness to be had elsewhere in this area.  Next door in a little strip mall type place, they have an Artisan Gelato store.  Not much to say about gelato other than it was very delicious.  I don't pretend to be a gelato expert, and have only had it twice before, but this was excellent.  Once was when in Barcelona (or someplace in Spain) and the other was at place off one of the ferry stops in Washington state (north of Seattle).  Had the mint chocolate chip with a dap of cookie something.

At back of the chocolate store (not gelato place) was the kitchen where it seems like all the chocolates are made.  It wasn't a factory per se, but more like a commercial kitchen, with what looked like everything being hand crafted.  Couldn't really see too much in there, though people were working and saw some dirty (guessing) chocolate molds stacked haphazardly on end of the counter.  These molds could've just been waiting to be filled?  Not sure.  There were quite a few people in the kitchen toiling away, was interesting to watch for a brief minute.

If ever I have the need to send chocolates to someone, anyone, can rest assured they'll be getting some Love'in from Norman Love's!

I leave this entry with a picture of MY chocolates...  Hearts and all..

Self Development in Far Eastern Wyoming

Most everything I've done over the past year or so, ever since starting this RV Lifestyle, has to do with The Meaning.  This meaning is becoming clearer with each passing day and experience.  This past summer I was hanging around my parents place in Connecticut, waiting for word on a commitment I had.  After received word that I was "off the hook" for this commitment, boogied straight towards Idaho/Wyoming border, with a brief stop in Ohio to pick up a scooter, a scooter with a presence.

The scooter isn't reason for this entry though, it is the weekend I spent in Wyoming.  Strange that only way to get there was through Idaho.  It was so remote wasn't even given an address to get there, only some vague directions down a long (and I mean LOOONG) road far away from civilization.  There was still some semblance of cell phone service here, though had to be in one specific location.  Any deviance from said location resulted in no signal at all.

Road to goodness?

Here is the general location of where we were at.  It is a little North East of Driggs, ID.  There is a dirt road that goes off into the mountainous area where people do wildernessy things.  As the picture shows we were very remote, though had electricity out here.  When I took the right to come into the location, ran into a HUGE pothole that rocked the RV back and forth violently.  It was so rough broke one of the wardrobe doors, and the mirror that it contained..

If it wasn't for the cold temperatures and snowfall, this location would've been the top place I would live, even surpassing Vashon Island.  It was beyond beautiful and the couple pictures I have doesn't even come close to doing it justice.

Trees everywhere!

I was packed right above a babbling "brook", more like a tiny river.  The river reminded me of a similar one I saw in Germany as headed towards the Neuschwanstein Castle (or some other castle in that area).  That stream had pure blue water coming down from the glaciers.  It was wonderful to see and one of the treasures of Germainy!

Sweet river o' mine

I spent some of the free time I had just sitting near the stream and listening to the water babble, gurgle, and just make watery noises.  It is like the water was alive, and not in the freaky sense.  While this isn't a good picture, it's straight out, and down, from the entrance to my RV and the river.  River was a good 15 feet below where I was parked.

This was a "typical" Humans Being More course, put on by Nikken, yet it was different.  All the portions that were feasible to do outside we did outside.  Once or twice it decided to rain when we were out.  Will definitely do this again next time it's offered!

My partner during this class closely resembled another friend I met during the permaculture course I attended in Montana, right down to mannerisms and beliefs.  She was there with her husband and they didn't take the course together, which is recommended for the first time.  During dinner the first night I actually got a feeling why they didn't take course together.  Though at the end he seemed completely changed!  This is why I feel everyone should attend the course regardless if they're affiliated with Nikken or not.

Ever since attending this one course I've been keeping a journal of sorts.  This journal identifies the items I want to have happen.  Out of this list I've been keeping, quite a few have already happened with more yet to come!